Post-Chassidism?

My blogger-friend Harry Maryles recently posted on the topic of "How Chasidus Saved Yiddishkeit" The money quote: "So, instead of being attracted to Haskalah, many were instead attracted to the simplicity of Avodas HaShem through Chasidus and its strong, charismatic leaders."

True enough. However...as with most (all?) successful revolutionary movements, problems creep in once the former revolutionaries become the "establishment." Hence, modern Chassidism is beset by a mulitude of problems, including bitter fights over succession, fraudulent/illegal activities, leaders who appear quite detached and disinterested in their followers, bizarre religious practices, etc., etc.

My own experiences within Chassidism bear this out. At some point in my BT career I became enamored of the Chassidic lifestyle and initiated a close relationship with a local Chassidic Rav, the scion of an illustrious dynasty. At some point in the process as I was seriously considering adopting a Chassidic way of life, he cautioned me that I should expect to be rejected by the majority of Chassidim. The implication was who was I a mere ba'al teshuva to think that he could join ranks with these kedoshim?! How ironic, I remember thinking to myself at the time, that this is the movement who's motto is ahavas Yisrael?!

Many years later, in spite of my earlier experiences, I began an association with Chabad. To their credit, their ahavas Yisrael was real, but unfortunately, so too, were the very real problems that plague that movement today. As they say a meivin yavin.

Personally, it seems to me that in the religious fervor department Chassidism has long-been supplanted by another group. Don't laugh, but I'm referring to what has been called "Jewish new-age" or "Jewish renewal." Of course, they don't always do things according to halacha (nor do the Chassidim, according to many), but in terms of heart-felt, sincere and creative approaches to Judaism, they arguably have taken the lead.

It is high time for so-called frum Yidden, both Chassidim and non-Chassidim to re-discover and recapture the joy in avodas Hashem lest our numbers continue to hemorrage.

Why I Am Not Chareidi [with apologies to B. Russell]

This is a difficult post to write. The words come with difficulty. You see, until recently I more-or-less considered myself chareidi or at least identified with that camp. Those of you who have read the masthead know I am a BT of over 20 years. My entrance to frumkeit was through chareidi rebbeim; I attended several chareidi (albeit BT) yeshivos and a chareidi kollel. Even after leaving those hallowed halls more than fifteen years ago I still identified with that outlook (even though I didn't always agree with everything I heard/saw.)

Recently, however, that has all changed. You see, the doubts were always there, but they were outweighed by what I perceived to be the good: committment to Torah and mitzvos, chessed, emes, etc. However, recent events have led me to question that outlook and that committment, and have opened my eyes to things that cannot be ignored.

The inescapable truth is that to be chareidi today means to be a fundamentalist, with all that implies, both good and bad. Good because it bespeaks of committment; bad because it does not tolerate difference of opinion and open inquiry. It reminds me of something a professor in college said to me once, explaining why he had rejected the Presbyterian faith of his youth: "There was an unwritten sign over the entrance to the church," he said "that said: 'Check your head at the door."

What is my evidence, you might ask, of this supposed lack of tolerance for differences of opinion and open inquiry? Well, unless you've had your head stuck in the sand (or your Gemara) for the past year-and-a-half you would know exactly to what I am referring. However, to give but one example: the Slifkin Episode. From every angle you want to examine that scandal (and I use that word literally), it reflected very poorly on the chareidi world and its leadership (or lack thereof) and in a nutshell, brought to the fore much that is wrong in that world today.

Interestingly enough, one hears from time to time about the growth of Orthodoxy and of the chareidi brand of Orthodoxy in particular. How ironic, then, that this movement, the bastion of Yiddishkeit is so afraid of open inquiry and so intolerant of differences of opinion! Opinions even from within their own camp, mind you--but one's that the current chareidi leadership deem detrimental to the chareidi masses, whom they fear cannot handle anything that isn't colored either completely black or white.

What these leaders don't realize, however, is that such an attitude--while no doubt protecting those who don't wish to use even the 10% of their brains--is distancing those of us who are not satisfied with pat answers and who wish to engage their Yiddishkeit in a dialectic more reminiscent of the times when thinking was not considered a dangerous thing.

There are other reasons, too; chief amongst them is the failure among the chareidi leadership be confront the difficult issues instead of retreating further behind the walls of the non-existent ghetto and pretending the problems are not there, leaving the masses to fend for themselves.

Don't get me wrong: I am not suggesting an embrace of secular culture or thinking, not in the least. Rather, there are significant issues affecting the chareidi world: it's present and future, and yet, there is very little evidence that the chareidi leadership is a) aware of these issues, and just as important, b) willing to do anything about them.

I could go on and on. As for examples, as they say a meivin yavin. If you have to ask, you don't want to know.

So where does that leave me? For the moment, heck if I know. But I know where I don't want to be. I remember when I was a bochur in EY and I spent Shabbos by a chossid who was affiliated with our yeshiva. At one point I asked him what type of chossid he was. "Independent," came the reply. Sounds good for now.

Choosing a Derech Chaim (Path in Life)

One of the luxuries of being a ba'al teshuva is the license to choose one's own derech chaim. Truthfully, this can also be terrifying at worst, and frustrating at best--for how in the world is a person with limited background supposed to pick-and-choose among the many varieties of (Orthodox) practice there are to be found today?!

Granted, some paths (i.e., most mainstream Chassidshe groups) are outside of most ba'alei teshuva's reach from the get-go (I am not going into the reasons here, for they are many), so are excluded from the beginning. However, that still leaves at least the following possibilities: yeshivishe, heimishe, modern orthodox/Mizrachi, Hirshian, Lubavitch, Breslov, etc. Obviously, if someone is Sefardi his choices are more limited, and therefore, easier.

During one of his visits to the States, I put this question to a certain adam gadol (Torah luminary). His reply was in the form of a "laundry-list" of seforim and chapters of certain seforim that I should read that would form the basis of my Torah hashkafa (outlook). So, he really didn't address the question of derech so much as philosophy, although they are closely related. In fairness to him, our meeting was extremely short; perhaps not even five minutes, as he was due to leave for a lecture in a few minutes.

Other rabbanim of mine have insisted that I choose a derech--and in this case the choice was between yeshivishe and chassidishe (as I had pretty much ruled out all other possibilities for myself). Internally, I balked. I wasn't ready to choose a derech: I could see advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. Why was it necessary to put all my eggs in one basket? Wasn't it possible to combine the best of both worlds?

For years I walked around thinking of was some kind of misfit for straddling the fence and not making the choice. Then, I came across a biography (that reads like a sefer) which changed my view of things: "Reb Shraga Feivel:
The Life and Times of Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz, the Architect of Torah in America" (see here and here).

Part of Reb Shraga's gadlus (greatless) lay in his encouraging his talmidim to seek out and incorporate different approaches/paths in Yiddishkeit. He himself would often answer a question raised by a source representing one stream of thought (e.g., sefer ha-Tanya) and answer it using a source from a completely different one (e.g., Rabbi Hirsch). Moreover, not only did he find no contradiction in this, but rather, he encouraged his students to do likewise, as he felt that to be successful, Torah in America required a different approach--one that combined the best that Europe had to offer: Litvishe, chassidishe, Hirshian, etc.

For me, this was verification and validation that the ecclectic approach was not only a valid choice, but might even be the preferred one. If so, why don't we find more people adopting this approach? More later, bli neder.

To Post, or Not to Post (with apologies to Will S.)

To post, or not to post; that is the question;
Whether ‘tis nobler in mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of the frum world,
Or to blog about it to the gantze velt,
And by writing about them end them.
To cause this blog to die; to sleep;
No more; and by sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That a blogger’s conscience is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep? Perchance to dream! Aye there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what other ideas for future posts may come,
When we have shuffled off this virtual diary,
Must give us pause; there’s the respect
That makes calamity of such a long blog-life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of anonymous comments,
The pressure to post, the snide remarks,
The pangs of posts unrequited, the gratification delayed,
The insolence of downed servers, and the lost time
That could be better spent,
When he himself might its quietus make
With a bare screen? Who would megabytes bear,
To grunt and sweat under a fuzzy monitor,
But that the dread of something after blog-death,
The undiscovered cyberspace from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those blogs we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
This conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution,
And flat-screened monitors,
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of phosphorous,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their alternating and direct currents turn awry
And lost the name of action.

National Adopt-a-BT Proposal Part II

Rabbosai, I am sincerely underwhelmed by the response to the Adopt-A-BT proposal. It's just as I suspected: no one gives a @#$%. I mean, after all, isn't it enough that we made you frum. Now, you want us to help you and your family integrate into our community?! Whoa, buster--let's not get carried away. I'm busy, after all; I've got people to be mekariv and still have to make it home in time to do carpool...

In the meantime, it's every man, woman and child for himself, and as long as the community is comfortable turning a blind eye to all the BT roadkill and doesn't mind picking up the costs involved (see previous post), then nothing much will change. I believe it was Rav Bulman, zt'l, who said that he felt it was a chiyuv upon the one who did the mekarav-ing to help their BTs integrate into the community, which includes, finding a job, a shidduch, and so on. Too much responsibility, you say? Then, obviously it's not for you. But, to take someone, completely uproot them from their social, religious, ethical (and often) economic underpinnings and then walk away is the spiritual equivalent of giving birth and then abandoning the baby!

Love 'em or hate 'em, you've got to hand it to the Lubavitchers; at least they've got this part figured out. As an FFB friend put it not long ago: "They (Chabad) take care of you from cradle to grave."

What really galls me are those FFBs who don't lift a finger to help any BTs in the community, who have tainas when BTs form their own shuls. I remember listening to a rav shraiying during his Shabbos drasha about a new BT shul that opened up. "Okay, so you were a choteh," he said. "But, why do you have to go and start your own shul?!" Obviously, he just didn't get it. The fact is, if the rest of the community (his shul, included) would have been more welcoming of the BTs in their midst, they wouldn't feel the need to cling together for support. Duh.

So, where do we go from here, rabbosai? Perhaps, if we watered down the proposal it would find more acceptance. I've got it: instead of National Adopt-a-BT we'll call instead, for a National Hug-a-BT Today proposal. Any takers?

National Adopt-a-BT Proposal

Although to the best of my knowledge there are no statistics to document this trend, my eyes and ears tell me that BTs have the highest rates of divorce and attrition in the Orthodox community.

To those familiar with the BT phenomena this should come as no surprise. The combination of major change in lifestyle and outlook, combined with an often "pareve-at-best" attitude towards them by the Orthodox community, proves too much for many BTs and BT families. Pair two people together going through the same changes while trying to start and raise a family--often with virtually no familial support system--and you often have a recipe for disaster!

Why care? Well, aside from the fact that there are Yedishe neshamos at stake--both adults as well as their offspring--the larger Orthodox community often ends up "footing the bill" for these tragedies in the form of assuming the burden for the financial and emotional needs of the "survivors," many of whom are children.

Last summer I wrote to an individual who is a much-sought public speaker in the Orthodox community and asked him to take up the issue, and suggested the creation of a nation-wide (worldwide?) "Adopt-a-BT" movement that would encourage FFB families to take one or more BT/BT families under their wing. These people would effectively serve as surrogate family to help smooth the way for the BT's transition (particularly during the early years) into the larger Orthodox community. I am still awaiting his response.

What do you think of the idea and whom else shall I approach?

Don't Judge a Yideel by His Yarmulke

Okay, since we were on the subject of the ShS (Siyum ha-Shas) I thought I'd share an observation. Yes, I did find (at least part of) last evening's festivities inspiring. Of the rabbonim who spoke, I was most inspired by Rabbi Frand, who is knowledgable, articulate, funny--and what's more--he let's the words convey the message (i.e., he doesn't have to "shraiy" into the microphone for emphasis).

But, what really moved me the most last night was the leather-kippa-wearing Yid sitting on my right, who was one of the "misiyummim," who impressed me not only with his accomplishment (and he also seemed like someone who actually got *something* out of his daf-a-day shiur (held at Young Israel, btw), and wasn't merely "yotze v'nichnas, but also with his general demeanor and attitude (e.g., his heartfelt "amens" during and after each speaker), as well as the way he davened ma'ariv with such obvious kavannah, that would put many a "blackhatter" to shame.

In general, I try hard not to "pigeon-hole" people, but it can be a mighty challenge, particularly if you hang out with a certain crowd, and I'm grateful to this fellow Yid for re-opening my eyes and teaching me what's important (Rachmana leba boi--The RBS"O wants the heart)--not a certain size/type yarmulke, or hat, etc., etc.

I Need This Blog!

I'm through wrestling with myself, and I don't know who won. Maybe I'll pin the blame on R' Yissachar Frand, Shlita, who said (during last night's Siyum HaShas) that it's not enough to feel inspired: one has to "concretize" the event in some demonstrable way.

So, here we are. What we are and who we are remains to be seen, but at least we have a forum in which to do it. The "it" of course, is for this until-now-reticent BT (if you don't know what that is look it up in Google) to spew forth all the pent up bile that he's been carrying around for these close-to-twenty years since arriving on the frum scene. It may not be pretty, it may not make you smile, but it just may make you stop and think, and Lordy-knows it'll be CATHARTIC!